Some inner thoughts

Well, it's a funny thing that is happening to me...I actually feel less stressed the closer our date of travel is. In 5 days we will be crossing the Atlantic Ocean to meet our son. Wow. I am very excited, though...I usually tear the chain off the paperchain each day before the kids can even get to it! Haha-that's sad. It's such a blessing to hear so many people tell us they will be praying for us-and have so many people step up to care for Grace and Luke while we will be gone-we have some very good friends.

It has also been so cool to watch our kids through the months and how they are just as excited as us to meet their new brother. We are confident that having Anteneh for a brother will enrich their lives beyond measure. Grace is such a learner-she asks lots of questions about everything and seems to really understand the answers we give her-one of our favorite things to talk about is history. She loves it. I have tried to explain to her how great America is-and how our country was started...and today we were talking about slavery-and how many, many years ago mean men stole people from Africa and brought them to America and many other places to be slaves. She is at the age where she wonders so many things, like why most everyone from Africa is black but there are also black people in America-but here, not everyone is...she asks, "so is our friend, LaToya (who is from Indiana) African or American? And what about Emmanuella (who is actually from Haiti)?"...But as I explain these things to her, I feel some shame-that I know many white Americans do-because of what my ancestors did. And I start to feel ashamed to be American because of that-even though at the same time I love my country. And then that feeling turns into embarrassment and I think, 'what in world are we doing to him? We are taking him from what he has had all his life and taking him to our little, not very diverse, city-where there and so few people that look like him-and NO Ethiopians!" But then I read something like this: (this is an excerpt from "There Is No Me Without You", by Melissa Fay Greene-remember, Haregewoin is the Ethiopian lady that runs an orphanage in Addis Ababa)

[[In the adoption world, Haregewoin learned, even a three year old was an 'older child,' declined by most prospective parents as possibly too damaged or traumatized by early experiences.
"But won't someone adopt the older children?" Haregewoin sighed as a Canadian-agency person prepared to depart with a baby.
"Try the Americans."
"What? Really?"
"The Americans will adopt anyone."
..."Boys?"
"Yes, boys! They adopt boys, they adopt siblings."
"But big boys? School-age boys?"
"Yes, I'm telling you!"
Haregewoin was off like a shot. She sprinted to her house to start making phone calls to find the Americans.
She found Merrily Ripley, director (with her husband, Ted) of Adoption Advocates International (AAI), of Port Angeles, Washington.]]

And then I feel proud of my country. Almost every child adopted out of Ethopia is adopted by American families. We are a country full of mistakes but we are also a country filled with compassionate people. People want to come to America because it is a great country. And we do make a difference in the world. We can't make up for the mistakes of our ancesters but we can know that by God's grace we have learned so many things and don't have to repeat the mistakes they made. And then I remember that Anteneh was without parents-he was an orphan. We are NOT horrible people for taking him away from what he knows. Because one thing he DOESN'T know is having a mommy and daddy and a home and brothers and sisters! And that outweighs everything. Sadly, he will forget his Amharic...he will forget Ethiopia to a degree, because of his age. But he will gain something that is most important-a loving family and a home. From what I understand, the Ethopian people are not adopting the over 4 million children without parents in their country-why in the world would I feel guilty for a second to be an American family giving him that most important thing? Well, these are my inner thoughts...I've never for a moment doubted that we are suppossed to do this. I really am confident that God has called us to this amazing adventure and I am excited beyond explaination! The best thing is that Anteneh is NOT an orphan, anymore! He is our son, now! Yeah! One week from today he will meet us and start learning for himself what it's like to have a mommy and daddy that love him!